2 Celebrating a special day

It’s been twenty five years !!!!!

Time flies so fast, no?

25 years ago, parents of two individuals decided their fate. They did abide by their parents’ decision and tied the nuptial knot on this very day in 1987.The two individuals who never knew each other, never met before, entered into a ‘social agreement’ or ‘partnership‘ called marriage. They said their vows, committed themselves to each other and the journey began...

In the journey of life, walking together, understanding each other...eventually they became the very best of friends. We have seen the bond getting stronger with every passing day. We have felt Maa & Papa, it’s not just the worldly relation that you share but the bond is divine. During all these years, we have been witness to your selflessness, devotedness, adherence and unconditional dedication towards each other with little or no regard to personal needs and wants. You have been each other’s inspiration, standing right by each other’s side through all times.

We wonder what God was thinking when He planned your wedding in heaven. We wonder if He wanted to bless us with the most wonderful parents on earth. You are everything a kid can ever wish for.

It feels so beautiful, so special, so perfect...to be your daughters. Not many people can refer to their parents as best friends and really mean it. Ours has been a different relationship, hard to describe...for you both sometimes became our teachers, sometimes friends and sometimes the sinks that absorbed all our worries. When we look into your eyes, we know that is the purest form of love on earth.

Yet there is a marked disconnect between our generations’ thought processes, you both always strived to keep us connected in a carefully, affectionately knit family. On some fronts, you taught us to be traditional and on others you became modern. You celebrated every small accomplishment of your children...taught us how to live...instilled in us the values and virtues.

In this journey of yours, you made us your companions. You nourished us blissfully, watched us grow.

We pray to the almighty to bestow upon you His choicest blessings and bless you with endless joy, everlasting happiness and togetherness. On this special day, let us cherish the special moments, happy thoughts and warmest memories. Maa Papa, Happy 25th wedding anniversary. May the eternal bond you share transcend all times.

Your loving daughters

Ashima & Apurva 

P.S. “If I ever marry someone, I would wish to live my life as you both do.”-Ashima 

  

5 What’s your nick name?

Nicknames are an integral part of childhood. Almost everyone has one…Sometimes they have to be accepted even if you don’t like them. And it becomes a necessary evil if you have got a funny one (courtesy your wanton friends).  

I have been proud owner of several nick names awarded by different persons during different seasons for different reasons!!!!!

As we move ahead in life, we leave behind these important possessions of ours where they belong. We get to college to get new nick names. The criteria for this could be any…I remember a guy ‘GORA’ in my college…..and guess what, he acquired the name not because he was gora(having fair complexion)  but the exactly opposite. You can call a guy ‘chottu’ if he is short (reminded me of ‘Pichi’, the shortest girl in the class) .…..Nick names can be derived from anywhere, we don’t need to have logic to coin them. Or they could be spoiled form of your name or surname; like we call one of our friends ‘Katta’( derived from his surname ‘Kataria’). He has accepted it blissfully. We used to call a friend ‘MATA’(that means mother in hindi) as she would always keep on advising and guiding as our mothers do.

Classic example…..Our maid has named her boy ‘KUDI’( that means a ‘girl’ in Punjabi) because she wanted a girl. I could not stop laughing when she told me. J. Huum….Few weeks ago, I got a message in my inbox….”BALLI is now PAATA’S madam”….that meant “ ‘Balli’ has joined as lecturer in the college where ‘Paata’ studies.”  I found images of lovely people ‘Paata’, ‘Balli’, ‘Satti’, ‘Jagga’, ‘Baba’ and many more school buddies, revolving in my mind in kaleidoscopic combinations, as soon as I read the message.

I feel one more incident deserves a mention here. There were three guys in my batch(engineering college) who were best friends; would sit together, roam together……One day they entered the classroom with a new hairstyle….Gandhi cut ….almost BALD HEADED; they became ‘Ganje’(bald headed people), a good subject for our gossips. Perhaps they had some argument, they all started sitting in different rows. My friend termed the ‘phenomenon’ as ‘THE GREAT GANJA DIASPORA’ !!!!!Even the teachers were not spared. One or more teachers at various stages of my life have had nick names. I remember ‘jugni’, ‘kodu’, ‘Gulabo’, ‘Bhangi’ and many more.I had a notion, in professional life, surnames usually become new nick names. But my misconception got washed away soon. Even the people, courteous, gentle, hardly of the type to have a nick name, have gaudy ones.That means either you earn a ‘name’ for yourself or they are conferred upon you for your deeds or may be they are shortened versions of your name or surname or could be based on your appearance. And the most important attribute of a nickname is they should please your friends.What made me write this was an incident. Few weeks ago, I met my mother’s aunt. She is very old. I have seen her only for five to six times. She looked at me and said, “Mithu…..”, I could hear only the first word…..for that strained my nerves. I had heard this before…somebody, somewhere, sometime in the past had addressed me with the same name. The soft, affectionate voice was echoing in my ears. I looked at my mother, a tear was rolling down her cheek. Perhaps she could decipher my thoughts. I don’t remember how my Nani( maternal grand mother) looked but something in me knew(don’t know how) that it was her voice……And I hugged the old lady.Shakespeare has said “What’s in name !!!!!” .Perhaps true.  But there is so much in a nick name. 

1 Papa one day I will make you proud one day 

I know you will say, “it’s fine” but it’s not.....This time again I failed....I don’t know  what heinous crime I might have committed in previous births. I remember a Punjabi song... Hai ve rabba main kehda tera ilachiyaan da khet ujadeya....(Litral translation says, God!  when did I destroy your cardamom gardens)......Who knows what destiny has in store for me. But at this moment, feelings are ineffable.

I don’t know why luck is so impertinent to me. My confidence was contagious a few hours ago...and see now(let me not begin with that).The inclement thoughts going on in my head are almost fatal. May be this is a temporary fixation....but I will rise again. I promise I will.

Despite everything going wrong, I have held forbearance firmly. I remember when I was a kid, in a soothing winter sun, you sat and expounded your views on the virtues of hard work and diligence . I have lived up to this principle and have always been assiduous and kept the fighting spirit alive.

How do I placate...somebody please delineate how do I ameliorate after-effects of failure. I saw fish’s eye like Arjun but what do I do if it did hit its belly. Or I should accept It was not my cup of tea and should leave it for others. I may not be adept performer like others but I have the courage to stand again. I saw on my friend’s wall (not FB wall), a quote written, and thought it was funny to write on the wall  but now I know its purpose. The quote was ‘Arise awake and stop not till the goal is reached- Swami Vivekananda)’. Most abhorrent situation is when people make conciliatory statements with dejecting facial expressions. I am used to living with can-of-worms. Now I want stability, calmness, peace, patience in my life. I hope Dear God, my this wish does not cause any bustle and is in harmony with your rules and policies. Dear God please accept my abject apology if I have been acerbic .

Consider me like an iceberg for now, for only a quarter of my ability is discernible.....Papa I will prove my worth. I promise I will make you proud one day :)


PS : This piece of text was written under specific circumstances.This was a temporary fixation.

3 The Greatest Journeys !!!!!

Indeed, it is a matter of perception…..For different people, the phrase holds different meanings. To some it means undertaking adventurous journeys like mountain climbing, sky diving etc…To some it might mean journeys to  not-to-miss-types destinations like Las Vegas…To some it could mean pious pilgrimages to ultimate destinations like Mecca or Kailash Mansarovar .

But if you ask me what does this mean to me, I would say ‘ THE GREATEST JOURNEYS ARE THE ONES THAT BRING US HOME’.

For the past one week, it seems the whole universe has been conspiring to make me miss those times, those loved ones and every little thing I love. Many a time in a day, I somehow find something that associates itself with a thing of past, mapping itself with one of those fond memories in innumerable fields, and dens, and caves in my brain; triggering blue devils again.

I am homesick, rather heart sick. I wish to go to the place where I was born, where I grew up, where I made a lot of friends, where I shared laughters and tears, the place I call HOME. I wish to live contented forever in my land. There is no place like home. The chasm of separation from people close to heart inflicts a wound on my heart which finds no cure but to be with them always. Rain is again falling but drenching is no more fun. Sun is again setting and loneliness again is making the heart heavy.

Even Lord Krishna was shaken by the affliction of separation….And I am human. When Lord Krishna came to Mathura from Gokul, he had a life of sumptuosity but he didn’t have something….HOME! He could hear the flute somewhere deep within. He looked for it but no where in his gem studded room could he find the flute which he used to carry as he called his cows back home. They had gifted him a golden flute but when he felt it, the cold of metal ran through his hands. Why did Krishna want to go back to Gokul ? For Yashoda, for Radha., for His cows….To His home. His Soul yearned to see them. Human beings can never be contented without something they gravely desire for. Perhaps neither can be Gods when they become humans like us.

I remember six months back, I flew back with heavy heart and empty soul and my eyes…Let me not even begin again with that. Before I left, I clicked a few pictures around my house. It was truly comforting to view them after I got back to Chennai. We often chat, cam to cam, but it is not complete as I want to hug them. Honestly, I do not have a slightest clue…when will I undertake ‘The Greatest Journey’ of my life…Looks more like a ‘conspiracy of heavens’ to keep me where I am for ‘as long as it is possible’. No more I can endure. I see cheerful faces every Friday( as they go home), I see cheerless faces every Monday…but my face looks always the same…IMPASSIVE with rather a vacant expression.

Sometimes I feel like one of those circus animals that are caged and forced to perform. I never thought I would ever be sitting miles away, yearning so much to meet those whom I owe my existence, walking alone on a road that my feet never walked before.
I wish hard times come to an end soon. J

Fingers Crossed !!!! 

~~ ਮਿੱਟੀ ਦੀ ਖਿੱਚ ~~

ਕੀ ਮੈਂ ਕੋਈ ਵੰਜਾਰਾ 

ਜਾਂ ਕੋਈ ਮੁਸਾਫ਼ਿਰ ਫਿਰਦਾ ਜੰਗਲ ਜੰਗਲ ਕੁਝ ਟੋਲਦਾ

ਅਜ ਮੈਂ ਮਿੱਟੀ ਤੋਂਹ ਦੂਰ, ਘਰ ਤੋਂਹ ਦੂਰ

ਆਸ ਹੈ ਆਵੇਗਾ ਇਕ ਦਿਨ, ਮੈਂ ਪਰਤਾਂਗੀ ਜ਼ਰੂਰ 

ਮਿੱਟੀ ਦੀ ਖੁਸ਼ਬੋ ਲੱਭਣ ਮੇਰੇ ਸਾਹ

ਖਾਂਦੇ ਨੇ  ਮੈਂਨੂੰ ਇਹ ਪਰਦੇਸੀ ਰਾਹ 

ਮੇਰੇ ਨਾਲ ਤਾਂ ਕੋਈ ਸੀਤਾ ਲਸ਼ਮਣ ਵੀ ਨਹੀਂ 

ਕੱਦ ਮੁੱਕੇਗਾ ਇਹ ਬਨਵਾਸ

ਮੇਰੇ ਤਿਰਹਾਏ ਨੈਣਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਉਹਨਾਂ ਝਲਕਾਂ ਦੀ ਪਿਆਸ 

ਮੇਰੀਆਂ ਬਾਹਾਂ ਚਾਹੁੰਦੀਆਂ ਉਸ ਜੱਫੀ ਦਾ ਇਹਸਾਸ 

ਮੈਂ ਤਰਸਦੀ ਉਸ ਪਿਆਰੇ ਸਪਰਸ਼ ਨੂੰ 

ਮੇਰੇ ਕੰਨ ਸੁਨਣ ਨੂੰ ਬੇਚੈਨ ਓਹ ਅਲਫਾਜ਼ 

ਮੇਰੇ ਪੈਰਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਓਹਨਾ ਗਲੀਆਂ ਚ' ਤੁਰਨ ਦਾ ਚਾਅ

ਮੈਂ ਤਰਾਸਦੀ ਓਹਨਾਂ ਹੱਥਾਂ ਦੇ ਸੁਆਦ ਨੂੰ 

ਕਾਸ਼ ਕੋਈ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਬਿਠਾਵੇ ਬਾਂ ਫੜ ਆਪਣੇ ਪਾਸ 

ਕਾਸ਼ ਮੁਕ ਜਾਵੇ ਇਹ ਬਨਵਾਸ 

ਕਾਸ਼ ਕੋਈ ਹੋਵੇ ਲੋਅ 

ਜੋ ਹਨੇਰੀਆਂ ਰਾਵਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਰੁਸ਼ਨਾਵੇ 

ਦਿਨ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਜਿਵੇਂ ਵਰਿਆਂ ਦੇ ਹੋਏ 

ਨੈਣ ਮੇਰੇ ਲੋਕਾਂ ਤੋਂਹ ਲੁਕ-ਲੁਕ ਕੇ ਰੋਏ 

ਪਤਾ ਨਹੀਂ ਓਹਨਾ ਕੰਧਾਂ ਕੋਲ ਅਜਿਹਾ ਕੀ ਹੈ

ਜੋ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਏਨੀ ਦੂਰੋਂ ਖਿਚਦੀਆਂ

ਘਰੋਂ ਜੱਦ ਪੈਰ ਪਾਟਿਆ ਤਾਂ ਬਨਵਾਸ ਦੀ ਮਸਿਆ ਛਾ ਗਈ 

ਸੁਨਹਰੀ ਸੁਪਨਿਆਂ ਦੇ ਤਾਰਿਆਂ ਤੇ ਬੇਗਾਨਗੀ ਦੀ ਬਦਲੀ ਛਾ ਗਈ

ਉਤਸ਼ਾਹ ਦੇ ਦੀਵੇ ਨੂੰ ਅਜਨਬੀ ਹਵਾਵਾਂ ਨੇ ਬੁਝਾਂਦੀਆਂ 

ਉਦਾਸੀਆਂ ਦੇ ਹਨੇਰਿਆਂ ਚ' ਮੈਂ ਜੁਗਨੂੰ ਵਿਚਾਰਾ ਕੀ ਕਰਾਂ

ਹਰ ਰੋਜ਼ ਰਾਤ ਦੀ ਚਾਦਰ ਨੂੰ ਚੀਰਦਾ, ਮੈਂ ਜੁਗਨੂੰ

ਹਰ ਸਵੇਰ ਭਰਦਾ ਹਿੱਮਤ ਦੀ ਨਵੀਂ ਲੋਅ, ਮੈਂ ਜੁਗਨੂੰ

ਲਿਖ-ਲਿਖ ਕੇ ਬਰਕੇ 'ਡਾਇਰੀ' ਦੇ ਭਰਦੀ ਮੈਂ

ਫਿਰ ਯਾਦਾਂ ਫਰੋਲਦੀ ਦਿਲ ਨੂੰ ਖੁਸ਼ ਕਰਦੀ ਮੈਂ

ਵਿਛੋੜਾ ਓਹ ਇਮਤਿਹਾਨ ਹੈ 

ਜੋ ਮੇਰੇ ਖਿਲਰੇ ਲਫ਼ਜ਼ ਸ਼ਾਇਦ ਬਿਆਨ ਵੀ ਨਾ ਕਰ ਸਕਣ

ਰਲ ਹੋਲੀਆਂ ਮਨਾਇਆਂ, ਕਿੰਨੇ ਦਿਨ ਬੀਤ ਗਾਏ 

ਬਾਰਿਸ਼ਾਂ ਨਹਾਇਆਂ, ਕਿੰਨੇ ਦਿਨ ਬੀਤ ਗਾਏ 

ਦਾਦੀ ਨੂੰ ਸਤਾਇਆਂ, ਕਿੰਨੇ ਦਿਨ ਬੀਤ ਗਾਏ 

ਰੋਲਾ ਛੱਤਾਂ ਉੱਤੇ ਪਾਇਆਂ, ਕਿੰਨੇ ਦਿਨ ਬੀਤ ਗਾਏ 

ਨਵਾਂ ਸੂਟ ਸਵਾਇਆਂ, ਕਿੰਨੇ ਦਿਨ ਬੀਤ ਗਾਏ 

ਓਹਨਾਂ ਗੀਤਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਗਾਇਆਂ, ਕਿੰਨੇ ਦਿਨ ਬੀਤ ਗਾਏ

ਚੀਜਾਂ ਖੋਹ ਕੇ ਖਾਇਆਂ, ਕਿੰਨੇ ਦਿਨ ਬੀਤ ਗਾਏ 

ਓਹ ਪਹੇਲੀਆਂ ਬੁਝਾਇਆਂ, ਕਿੰਨੇ ਦਿਨ ਬੀਤ ਗਾਏ

ਪਿਆਰੇ ਯਾਰਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਹਸਾਇਆਂ, ਕਿੰਨੇ ਦਿਨ ਬੀਤ ਗਾਏ

ਨਾ ਕੋਈ ਵਾਜਾਂ ਮਾਰ ਬੁਲਾਂਦਾ ਸ਼ਾਮਾਂ ਢਲਿਆਂ ਨੂੰ

ਤੇ ਨਾ ਕੋਈ ਮਲਹਮ ਲਾਂਦਾ ਜਲਿਆਂ ਜਖਮਾਂ ਨੂੰ 

ਨਾ ਕੋਈ ਅਜਿਹਾ ਜੋ ਇਸ ਭੀੜ੍ਹ ਚ' ਫੜੇ ਹੱਥ ਮੇਰਾ 

ਤੇ ਨਾ ਕੋਈ ਜਿਸਤੋਂ ਉਧਾਰ ਮੰਗ ਸਕਾਂ ਮੈਂ ਹੋਂਸਲੇ

ਟੁੱਟ ਜਾਂਦੀ ਨੀਂਦਰ ਅਖੀਆਂ ਦੀ ਰਾਤਾਂ ਨੂੰ 

ਜੱਦ ਸੁਪਨਿਆਂ ਚ' ਵਾਜਾਂ ਸੁਨਣ ਪਿਆਰੀਆਂ

ਉਮੀਦ ਦੀਆਂ ਲਾਟਾਂ ਨੇ ਅਜੇ ਪਈਆਂ ਬਲਦੀਆਂ 

ਮੇਰੀਆਂ ਉਡੀਕਾਂ ਚ' ਓਹ ਕੰਧਾਂ ਪਈਆਂ ਗਾਲਦੀਆਂ

ਆਸ ਹੈ ਮੇਰੇ ਟੁੱਟੇ ਹੋਏ ਦਿਲ ਦੀ ਮੁਰੱਮਤ ਜ਼ਰੂਰ ਇੱਕ ਦਿਨ ਹੋਵੇਗੀ

ਆਸ ਹੈ ਓਹ ਮਿੱਟੀ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਬੁਲਾਣ ਲੈ ਮਜਬੂਰ ਇੱਕ ਦਿਨ ਹੋਵੇਗੀ 

ਮੈਂ ਮੁੜ ਆਵਾਂਗੀ 

ਮਾਂ ! ਮੈਂ ਮੁੜ ਆਵਾਂਗੀ 

ਪਾਪਾ ! ਮੈਂ ਮੁੜ ਆਵਾਂਗੀ 

ਮੈਂ ਮੁੜ ਆਵਾਂਗੀ ||

0 HAPPY POHRI !!!!!

Finally the much awaited festival of ‘Lohri’ has come…but this time I am not at home ,in Punjab, with my family to celebrate  Lohri. The moment I hear this word ‘Lohri’, all those memories flash on my retina…..Lohri bonfire, Mungfli(ground nut), Reodiyaan, Chidve(puffed rice) and the ever hit song ‘Sundar mundariye HOYE ,Tera kaun Vichara HOYE, Dullah Bhatti wala HOYE….’ Sung in the praise of Dullah Bhatti, a punjabi avatar of Robinhood who robbed rich to help poor.

         Gone are the days….when I was a kid…..as free as a bird,when we, The Basanti Gang(a group of some fifteen children) would go from door to door singing folk songs and demanding the Lohri ‘loot’ in the form of money and eatables like til(sesame )seeds, peanuts, jaggery and sweets like gajak(chikki), reodiyaan etc….when getting 500g of gajak meant everything to us.

I remember Lohri  eve,13^th January 2011, the first festival of the year for us(punjabis), was a day of festivity and merrymaking. Goody Aunty and I had specially bought parandi. Though it didn’t fit in my hair as it was not that long, but I still managed to fix that with pins. My exquisite green and yellow Patiala salwar –kameez made me look adorable. Those voices still echo in my ears and I automatically get a smile when I think of Lohri.

Yeah….I could see everybody was ready, looking elegant and cheerful in their lovely traditional Punjabi outfits. With the setting of sun, amidst the freezing cold, temperature vacillating between 0-5 degrees Celsius and the dense fog, huge bonfire was lit in the front yard of our neighbour, Sharma Uncle’s house. We all were excited as it was the first Lohri of their daughter-in-law at their place. I thought I was looking the most elegant, but then came the newly wed couple.Bhabhi(their daughter-in-law) was looking absolutely graceful in purple and green, pure silk salwar-kameez. Her maroon phulkari dupatta (spectacular style of embroidery
peculiar to Punjab) almost took my breath….I envied her….I even asked her to get me a dress like that. Mati(my grand mother) and her friends(other elderly ladies) sang folk songs and blessed the newly wed couple. We all gathered around the rising flames, circled around(Parikrama) the bonfire,throwing puffed rice, pop corns and ground nuts into the holy fire, shouting “Ishar aaye, dalidar jaye….”(May the God come and the poverty vanish).After parikrama, all the people were meeting their friends, relatives and exchanging greetings and gifts.Mati told me to distribute Prasad(offerings made to God). Prasad comprises of five items : til, gajak, jaggery, peanuts, pop corns). Winter savories were served around the bon-fire with traditional dinner of makki di roti(maize hand rolled bread) and sarson da sag(cooked mustard herbs).

As I had to leave for internship at Infosys Mysore after some days (22/01/2011), all were wishing me luck and showering their blessings. Then came the time for the event, I had been waiting for…..THE BHANGRA. All the members of Basanti Gang(I laugh when I say this) were there. We were no more  kids  but that evening  ,we had forgotten this fact for some time .I along with fun loving, energetic and enthusiastic young friends of mine, was then lost in Bhangra amidst the beats of the drum. And the Bhangra continued till our bodies ached.

Yesterday, I got a courier, guess what, Bhabhi has sent me something…..the same kind of dress she wore last year on Lohri , the dress I envied her for. Wow !!!!! I feel so elated to have this surprise. It reminds me that miles away, people remember me. I got an intense feeling of Deja-vu when I had first glance of my gift. Thank You Bhabhi !!!!!!  This year I will celebrate Pongal with my friends from this part of India….I think if I wear my new Punjabi dress on pongal…I can call it POHRI(Pongal+Lohri).

The message spread by both Pongal and Lohri is same….the same message of oneness and the spirit of brotherhood while thanking God for good harvest and prosperous life. Wow !!! It feels so amazing to imagine myself in Punjabi suit with malli-pu(jasmine flowers) in my hair !!!!!

HAPPY LOHRI…..Rather Happy POHRI to all J

De Mai Lohri Jeeve Teri Jodi (May God Bless Your Marriage, Lady, Give Us Lohri) :)